Sunday, March 31, 2013

Good ole times.

I really should dye my hair back to red. And get me some of Frieza's lipstick.



Saturday, March 30, 2013

New Blog

I figured I should blog about my new blog. Hah.

Buuuut indeed, it's true. I've started a new blog called Yaoi for Dummies and it's awesome, I'm going to be endlessly talking about boys on boys and boys and more boys in looove.

Whatever.

Long live YAOI!

Friday, March 29, 2013

Chill. Religion doesn't have to be that scary after all!

The Corsicans are coming...

And they're dressed fabulously!


Religious procession march thing... Corsicans singing religious stuff with those damn awesome voices they have could have been pretty scary had I not realised they were just mismatched Mighty Masks!!!!!

And we ALL love Mighty Mask! <3

Hooray for Corsicans! They're finally learning! Cosplay Cosplay Corseplay Corseplay!

That fucking image is MIIIIINE! 

Thursday, March 28, 2013

危险关系

"Dangerous Chinese Liaisons"


Dear China:

I watched this new movie you put out last year. It's an old story, done many many times before so obviously I wasn't expecting anything surprising or original. I watched it because I love you, end of story.

Even though it was visually appealing and one can tell you spent a lot of money on it, unfortunately it was dull as fuck. I'm sorry China, you failed.

Zhang Ziyi playing an idiotic woman's role is really a waste, but she's a good actress, she kinda nailed the part, the epitome of annoying. The main actor, what's his face? Turns out he's Korean. Well, one can never tell because China, even though you think you're hiding their accents, dubbing your own actors is very tasteless. You spend all this money on fancy sets and all, you could just as easily afford some decent microphones so you won't have to rerecord the audio and mismatch it to the actual film.

For yes, we can tell when the lines and their lips aren't synchronised.

And I could have sworn the soundtrack was recycled. I'm sure I've heard the same songs in some other movie. I'll find out soon enough. Bad China, bad.

Now, Cecilia Cheung... wow. And I thought she wouldn't make a real comeback after the sex scandal! Kudos! I liked even more than Glenn Close! And by god if she isn't cute as a button and evil as fuck.

And whooo is that hunk who played the young artist? My, my, if it wasn't a nice surprise.

All in all, dear China, don't recycle stories. I'm quite sure you can come up with something original on your own, and if you put in as much effort as you did in this film, you'll do great!

Oh and one last thing, I know you're seriously into the kind of tragic true love scenes that call for the death of one of the lovers in the other's arms.

Cut it out. It's seriously annoying. 

Sincerely yours,
L.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Reeeeally belated Valentines fic

One can't just write down whatever one's feeling at the time. Oh no, no. 

Some of us just do so anyways... 

I'm feeling particularly lonely tonight. 
Well, no. Lonely is not the word, but I've promised myself not to erase anything I've already typed. 
Lonely's not it... rather, isolated. By choice, mind you, I'm completely aware of it. Loneliness hah, how petty-hhhh... and yet inspiring, oh yes, yes. 

I've written a story about it, a mighty Junjou fanfic,  it's just the beginning but I'm getting there, my first Junjou ever! I'm pretty much in love with the characters so I'm emotionally involved and doing my best! Ganbarimasu!

Kamijou Hiroki, ooohh I dare, a well known associate professor at Mitsuhashi University, completely rejects the idea of being in love with someone 4 years his senior, who is still a student and a rather skilled 'seme' at that. And yet Hiroki, a name I love dearly, can't let go of his pride. Hiroki, Hiroki, I love you madly.

Did I mention the fact that they're both men? Of course I haven't. They haven't told anyone either. Only the best of us know their secret... 

And I go 'Dub dub dub duuub dub dub... dub me lord abortion...' and there I go again mixing Yaoi with Symphonic Black Metal and come up with something no one will ever enjoy but myself and Iiiiiiiiiii...  at times like this I can't help but sing 'DOOOOOOOM doooom dooom doom.' Doom's upon us. 

Gods everywhere: life's good. I've been blessed with YAOI insight... 



--------------------------------


"…you."

Kamijou Hiroki looked up from the current paper he was grading, he hadn't caught a thing of what that girl in front of him was saying. 

"Sorry, could you repeat that? I was a little distracted." he apologised.

Assistant professor Kamijou 'the Devil' Hiroki did not exactly inspire confidence. Due to his explosive temper and impulsive personality he was feared by his students and avoided by most of his colleagues. However his most characteristic trait had to be his complete lack of awareness whenever he had lines of words in front of him. As long as he was engaged in reading, the world didn't exist, a literature enthusiast as he was. He had barely even noticed one of his female students from first period linger after class and approach his desk. 

As professor Kamijou looked up and pushed down his reading glasses to better look at his student he realised the girl was trying her best to not look back at him, her face completely flushed, a killer tomato personified. 

"This… is for you." She slowly repeated, barely above a whisper. Hiroki's attention was then drawn to the little package neatly wrapped in bright pink paper sitting on his desk. 

'Don't- don't tell me it's that time of the year again!' He thought as cold sweat ran down his spine. 

His eyes turned from the little pink present to the girl offering it, unaware of the fact that he was becoming paler and paler by the second. 

"Please accept these chocolates," The girl student ventured to speak once again, this time her voice came out a little stronger. "Happy Valentines Day." she said before literally sprinting out of the room, leaving one petrified assistant professor behind. 

Kamijou Hiroki was a good looking man and yet not particularly masculine. He had a toned slender body, reminiscent of a professional swimmer on the slimmer side, with broad shoulders and overgrown dark brown hair reaching the nape of his neck on the back yet shortened at the front, barely covering the tip of his nose and combed sideways. His eyebrows seemed to meet at the center creating an eternal frown, well known to his students,  however his eyes shone with an unexpected innocence pooling within a light shade of brown, a color too well hidden from the world and yet too apparent to those being regarded by it. He was young, way too young for a university assistant professor, at barely 28 years of age he had already achieved his professional goals with excellency. His social skills outside of work however, were far from developed, being abnormally sensitive and ferociously timid. 

'No, I can't believe I didn't notice! No wonder, no way, don't tell me!' Hiroki thought hard, trying to remember his schedule for the day. 'I have three more classes and a conference at six! Agh! If I had known what day it was today I wouldn't have agreed to that damn conference! Maybe if I barricade myself in the office and send the students some random assignment through one of the secretaries… no I can't do that, we haven't even started on Edo prose yet!' 

Hiroki then stood up and began pacing back and forth, throwing ugly glances at his first Valentines present of the day every time he walked past his desk. 

It had to be the most embarrassing thing in the world, receiving a mountain of Valentines Day chocolates once a year, presents piled all around his desk, ridiculous wrappings, girls giggling madly everywhere he went! Once a year, no exceptions, his strict and hard facade as one of the most intimidating professors at the University was completely destroyed by a pink avalanche of gifts and letters, hearts and chocolates, candy, frigging candy of all things! 

'What the hell are they expecting from me?! Damn moronic girls, I'm their professor! Do they really think I'm going to get involved with one of them simply because their batch of fancy chocolates was better than the next one!?' Once a year, no exceptions, assistant professor Kamijou 'the Devil' Hiroki mumbled the same old monologue to himself after receiving the first present of the day. Not once had he remembered to not schedule extra activities on Valentines Day. 

"This has got to be the most embarrassing thing in the world." And barely were those words out of his mouth when an even more embarrassing image of his current male lover appeared before his mind's eye, 1.86m tall and holding out a pink box of white chocolates wishing him a 'Happy Valentines Day, Hiro-san'. Hiroki shivered trying to shake away the memory of the man he loved, doing the unspeakable. 

"That idiot is the worst." he whispered, covering his face with one hand. 

'Once a year, yes, I can cope with the embarrassment. In the end, it's just giiirls. Girls and their idiotic perverse versions of romanticism. Thousands of years of literature have taught us men the means of escaping from unavoidable situations such as... unrequited love.' 

'When it's a reciprocated love between two men, when you wonder wether there's a limit to how much one can love someone of the same sex, then you have a problem. And the heartthrob that is Valentine's Day hurts times a thousandfold.'

'That horribly sweet thadump thadump that pulsates inside my chest whenever I'm with him, whenever my thoughts are drawn towards him, should it hurt as much as it does?' 

'It shouldn't, and it doesn't. It's just today, just this one day, whenever these female minions of evil escape their encasement... I'm terribly aware of how hard it is to love another man. And then again, I'm reminded that MY Valentines Day is forcefully held indoors.' 

'And this offending object, this present, is now stuck down my throat and I can't breathe. How can something so affectionate cause so much damage? How can it throw me off balance by just sitting there?' 

'Nowaki... he's the same.' 

Without really noticing, Hiroki pulled out his mobile and dialled a familiar number. He held up the phone to his ear, still pacing back and forth, growing more and more impatient. 

After a couple of rings, someone picked up on the other side. 

"Hiro-san." It wasn't a question. There was only one person in the world who would answer the phone calling out his name so innocently. Simply because there was only one person in the whole world who was allowed to use that version of his name. Hiroki's heart throbbed painfully each time he heard it, finding not enough space in his chest to beat at its content. 

"I... hey, it's me." 

"..."

"..."

"I've just realised as well." Kusama Nowaki whispered from the other end of the line. 

'Who does he think he is, being all high and mighty?' Hiroki thought, trying hard to appear more annoyed than he actually was. 

"You forgot to take out the garbage this morning, it was your turn so I was annoyed by the stench as I left for work." was the first thing he had come up with, unable to speak his thoughts as he unintentionally wanted to. 'Why does it have to be this hard?' he thought as he closed his eyes and bit his lip. 

"I apologise, I overslept and left in a hurry." Nowaki was always polite, always careful with his choice of words. Something that pleased Hiroki, a literature professor, to no end. 

"Whatever, just make sure you take it out when you come back." A comfortable silence followed, the kind they were both accustomed to. 

"Hiro-san?" Nowaki suddenly spoke. 

"What?" 

'I love you. I love you. I want to see you. I want to see you so much.' 

"Dinner tonight?" 

It was completely innocent, every once in a while they would meet up after work at that same old family restaurant, have dinner and walk back home together. 

And yet the thought of being able to do so tonight... the possibility of them being together in this one forbidden day meant for couples of blue and pink... 

'I feel like I've been granted another ten years of life.' 

Was a true present. 

"Whatever. Just don't be late, see you at seven then."

Without waiting for a response, Hiroki ended the call and pocketed his phone. That was all the boost he needed to get him through the day and cancel that conference at six. 



-------------------------------

And aren't they lovely? 

Back in the days when I was young and full of life I used to write the dirtiest, most graphic, most disgustingly vivid yaoi stories ever. 

Ack, my lovely self and I haven't actually experienced male gay sex... 

Hell, does that mean I can't write about it? 

Raise your hand if you've a twisted, twisted mind! Just let me get my cool back and I'll be posting the diiiiiiirtiest stories evah! 

Tonight I'm full of fluff though, shhiiiiiiiit. Junjou Egoist FOREVER. 

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Nature is weird.


Shark penis(es). What a wondrous thing(s).


Saiyan Fetish


If I had a choice, I'd go for Android 17, even if he's not a Saiyan!
But man oh man... thank GOD for fusion! 

Vegito?! Oh, my panties... 

Gogeta?! Jesus fucking flux... 

Super Android 17?!!?!?!?! I died... 

Never had a big thing for Goku, but the latin american dub is just so wonderful, I have the biggest crush in that mexican seiyuu... even though he really really really doesn't look the part! 

So yep, I've spent the last 3 days watching Dragon Ball Z. 

I haven't slept in 3 days. 

So I might be acting weird lately, hahah, ask my sister, she doesn't know what to do with me lately, it's kind of like when future Trunks kills Frieza and Goku's the only other super Saiyan out there so even if they fight they know they're the only ones who can do it! 

Of course, Teco could never be a Super Saiyan like me! 

Hummmph... I'm more like the Kame turtle... 

Oh! Oh! Oh! That reminds me! Vegeta x Bulma : HOOOOOOOOOT!!!! 

I died. 

Doujinshi FOREVER!

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Villains that make you hungry!

Of all the stupid things I've ever come up with, this is by far the best. I've been really thinking about this, it's a serious, serious topic and I've given it a good 80% of my sleep time. 

Which villains look the most delicious? 



Alright, Red Skull. I've talked about him before. It's just seriously impossible to watch this movie without wondering if he's more a raspberry or red bell pepper flavour. 
Either way he looks pretty damn yummy and I'd like to have a lick at that scalp of his. 
Delicious scale: 6/10






Alright, Boo! 
If you're a fan of Mario Brothers, you'll know who Boo is. If you don't, well here's a picture! 
And why oh why? Sometimes he looks like chewing gum, sometimes like jawbreakers. Cotton candy? Mints! Delicious scale: 6/10



Stay Puft Marshmallow Man! Really now, is an explanation necessary? He's a giant marshmallow!! I can't watch Ghostbusters without a huge marshmallow craving! 
Delicious scale: 7/10



Another Mario Brothers character! This one, just like Koopa, makes me seriously crave shellfish! But something rich and creamy like clam chowder or something. Even oysters. Would you hate me if I said turtle soup? Never had it, but Bowser makes me wanna try. 
Delicious scale: 7/10


Killer Tomatoes! 
They're just evil food, mind you not entirely delicious looking but I'm a big tomato fan and half squashed tomatoes are just begging to become bolognaise sauce. 
Delicious scale: 8/10


Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice! He's not food, he doesn't look like food. There's no food shown in the cartoon, except for bugs. But I find him tasty looking. He makes me hungry, maybe its his fingers. 
Delicious scale: 5/10


Majin Buu. 
Or as I like to call him: Bubble gum. He looks like he walked out of Willy Wonka' factory in anime form. Have you ever seen how bubble gum is made? Have you seen him fight? Frighteningly similar. 
I hands down prefer his slender version rather than the round wobbly one, his body looks more flexible this way and that's the one thing you want from your chewing gum, right or what? Delicious scale: 9/10



HIM. 
Lobster anyone? Alright seriously now, this character's fucking disturbing. Is it even more disturbing that I want him with extra butter? Delicious scale: 9/10


Whats-his-face!
He's the villain from Monsters, Inc. Can't seem to remember his name. 
Crab meat. Crab meat. Crab meat. Every time his claws clank my stomach rumbles. 
Delicious scale: 8/10




Ok, I can't think of any more just about now but I'll be sure to continue! And now I'm hungry! Daaaamn youuuuuu! 

Let's go watch some yaoi now! Food for the heart (and groin) hohohohohohohohohoh!!!!! 
醒来吧 在这令人绝望的孤独舞会上,你像一枚剪纸般渐渐失控了舞蹈,你变得很轻。
时间飞移,不只是在梦里我想要哭泣,这冰冷冷的没有质感的人君将我们分离。这一刻当我停止歌唱当我凝视着你,我不相信在我们之间的沉默里有准确的距离。

醒来吧 在这令人绝望的孤独舞会上,你唱的那首歌渐渐失去了旋律,狂燥而低迷。一瞬间不只是流逝让我感到畏惧,我不能改变你,不能轻易地忘记,不留下痕迹。撕裂了自己,通过你燃烧着迷梦般的神情,那些失落的梦境,或缥缈的记忆使我如此着迷。

我们沉醉,我们卑微,我们在各自的世界里孤寂得坠毁。
我们感激伴随着叹息,只因那情景只能短暂连接我和你,于是跳舞吧,动作再快一些,在轻松些吧,反正结束的那一刻总是要分离。

我一直在寻找着你,承受着你的记忆,直到我们难以再次唤醒。就用结束的方法去庆祝一下。等到多年以后忽然想起,那个黑暗里舞动的少年会是谁?

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Dear Satan:

I miss you so much,

Misaki won't say as much, but rest assured, we both can't live a normal life without you.

Dear Satan, since you've been gone, life hasn't been the same, pre death hasn't been the same. They IS all pretending, pretending, pretending. Moi, I feel like dying every second I'm not aiming at someone, at something, aiming at that special Kumagoro-BEAM directed at X, pointed towards a target... by you.

Please direct me, please talk to me.
I remain, moi, je reste...

Talk to me,

Ask me if something good happened,

Ask me.

Maybe it did.

If it did, then ask me again. And again. Ask me again and again until my answer becomes: LET ME BE!

Leave me alone!

I hate you! My heart is killing me for saying it, for asking... asking you to leave me alone...

But DO leave me alone!

Soon I'll be leaving, I'll be going back.

And all those who I've left behind, well ... you'll remain here. How many feet under? Are you asking me? Child, don't be cute. Dehe ja ne... you're eternal. ETERNAL. Beauty too young to speak your real name.

Corsica?

I've loved you for years... but you're not for me to love.
Someone else will come.
And when they do,
Their name will be...
TORI

That's the most beautiful name, the most beautiful combination of words there is...

Tori.

And Tori, my dearest, dearest Tori:

I love you. I haven't met you, I'm not even sure you will ever exist. But I already love you.

The feeling, this feeling that you might exist one day...

I feel like I could just explode.

Your name is Tori. And I love you. And I love you like no one else will ever love you.

Unconditionally, religiously, fanatically, devotedly...

Like birds of a feather... feathers of a bird...

Tori.

Your name is, was and will forever be, Tori.

Monday, March 11, 2013

S.O.S.


Chères Buddha, Jesus, Vishnu, Krishna, Alla et Dieu extraterrestre de la scientologie:

Je suis la seule survivante de l'accident d'avion du 3 mars à destination de Paris. Je n'avais pas confiance sur EasyJet et maintenant je sais pourquoi, l'avion est tombé dans la mer une demi heure après le décollage de Bastia. 

Je me souviens pas comment je suis sortie de l'avion mais moi et d'autres dix personnes sommes arrivés dans une île déserte.

Ça fait déjà quelques semaines que je me trouve seule et affolée. Aidez moi! Ce soir je mange la cuisse droite de Marie et demain je n'aurai plus à manger!

S.O.S.


Thursday, March 07, 2013

Am I done throwing a tantrum?

Guess I am.

Corsica is a lot more than I expected. I don't seem to be able to handle it on my own...

Have I said so already?... It's a fucking lonely place to feel lonely at...
I don't think there's anywhere on Earth you'd be able to feel this nothingness.

I've spent months in my room. And now, you can't just call that depression. No, sir. You'd be lucky to feel 'just' depressed here, to find something interesting to do here. Interesting or uninteresting? Anything at all???

Oh my god.

I finally finally finally have the guts to write online and I seriously seriously seriously have nothing to say...

The village is beautiful, teaubivul, feautibul... Corsica is so damn teaufutul...

I can't stand it anymore.

I rather sell myself somewhere else.

No one will ever know just how deep my longing goes. I so long to be away... this isn't a place for me... this is punishment. Self-inflicted punishment. And every time I see how beautiful it is, this sea, these snowy mountaintops, I cringe.

I slowly, oh so very slowly, I feel myself dying every other second.
Just how much can someone take? Of unrequited love? Kami, is it just a superficial infatuation-kind-of love??

Definitely, I tired it. Gods, I've tried it. Corsica is just Corsica. Corsica can't love me back, Corsica can't like me back.

I haven't been able to speak to ONE person out of personal interests since I've been here.

It's been six months since I last talked to someone who held the same interests as I do. Or close to my own points of view.

Every silent night makes me sweat like it's the last night of my life. Silence, I can't handle it. Life in a mountain? I wake up at night petrified. And once I'm up all I can do to fill up my emptiness is eat.

I've been having these anxiety attacks ever since winter hit these parts of the world.

And if I don't get out of Corsica I'll die. I'll die long before summer arrives.

You'd think a pretty snowy hill is pretty... well I'll say, a pretty snowy hill just makes it a lot worse.

There's two rivers flowing past Corte.

I've thought about throwing myself into them, individually, one at a time. If not Restonica, then Tavignanu... I've woken up still dreaming about waking up at the hospital after being thrown into the river.

And I'm not myself anymore...

Whoever I was, back in China, is completely gone. There's no curiosity, there's no expectancy... I'm just here, and if I remain, I'll seriously die. I'll die.