MOVIE QUICKIE

Since Milk and I have spent the last few days on the couch watching horror movies, I have something to say.

FUCK Castle Freak.

GODDAMN Freak. And there are witnesses, I used to have a soft spot for freaks, ever since sweet Grady Stiles
(I even dressed up as him one Halloween, if wrapping tape around my hands counts), and regardless of the crazy similarities between the GODDAMN Freak and Rocky Horror's Riffraff (who I used to have a crush on too!), I still had to look away from the stupid movie.

On another note, hats off to Sleepaway Camp.

We read somewhere on an Eli Roth interview how he explains the effect this movie had on him and his friends, to recall he said something like, by the time the movie ended, just after the last scene, he and his friends literally stood up from their chairs and screamed in horror. Well, long story short, it happened to us too.

Seriously, this movie is SICK in a disturbingly good way, my favorite type of way, and I won't say anything about it, except that if you watch it, you MUST watch it until the end and shut the fuck up about how you think Friday the 13th is way better, because once you get to the end, you'll have FUCKING nightmares.

Now, on to Cannibal Holocaust.

I literally started watching the movie holding on to my cookie monster plushie because I had heard that it was very difficult to watch, and one hour into the movie, the only difficult parts to watch were the unceremoniously raw scenes of animal cruelty they show, the dismembering of a giant turtle for example, I seriously felt worse about the turtle than the guy who gets his dick cut off or the girl who gets gang banged and decapitated by a bunch of tree huggers.

Well, honorary mention to Evil Dead, that was the second time I watched it and it still works on me, goddamn demons.

Which reminds me, I had to rearrange the order of the creatures I would least like to encounter in my life and death, and for many years my list was topped by those motherfucking black and white zombies from Night of the Living Dead (Yes, yes, I was young and the fear never left me) closely followed by those damn critters. But in the light of new events, my top 5 reads as follows:

TOP 5 OF CREATURES I WOULD NEVER LIKE TO ENCOUNTER IN MY LIFE AND DEATH:

5.Aliens
4.Anna Paquin
3.Zombies
2.Demons
1. GODDAMN Castle Freak

Asshole.