Friday, May 24, 2013

Why Jason Stathan should stop making movies.

Am I the only one who's tired of watching yet another driving/killing action movie trailer starring Jason Statham every time I go to the movies? 
I swear, every time I go to the cinema, its either that or yet another poster that looks exactly like the previous one. 
Seriously, look at this:

 
 
 


I mean come on!! If I were to change the titles and mismatch the covers, no one would know. It's the same goddamn poster over and over again! Doesn't anyone else see it? And not just that, it's the same damn character in EVERY damn movie... Except for Lock, Stock and two smoking barrels and Snatch. Those movies were good
But even in those movies he's either driving fast or holding a gun. Or driving while holding a gun. Or driving, stopping, then taking out his gun. Or putting his gun away before driving. 
Real bad asses don't need guns. Nor do they drive. They fly and shoot ki blasts. 
It's annoying enough that he doesn't change his look, (I mean even Woody Harrelson has had long hair at least once!). I want him to get out of his comfort zone and star in a Pedro Almodovar movie. That's what I want.  And in the poster, I want him to wear high heels and a shitload of makeup. And a long blonde wig. 

Oh, by the way, check it. 
"He was dead... but he got better"
What the FUCK is that supposed to mean? That's going on my top ten of most ridiculous movie lines ever, along with: 

The Avengers
Loki: "Free... from freedom." 

Snow white and the Huntsman
Snow white: "I rather die than live another minute of this death. "

Amongst many others, I honestly should make a list. Can you believe they're working on a Fast and Furions SEVEN?????? SEVEN!!! Who watches that?!?!!?! I mean... at least Harry Potter was building to an awesome ending but these... these movies, oh sweet jesus. 

Please stop. No more. I don't even watch those movies but having those trailers run before I watch MY movies is already too much to handle. Please stop Fast and Furious. 

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